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| ^^ 3 of these guys played together once!! ^^ |
PG: Magic Johnson
SG: Michael Jordan
SF: Larry Bird
PF: Bill Russell
C: Hakeem Olajuwon
Okay the first three positions seem pretty self-explanatory. Magic and Jordan are universally accepted as the two best guards ever, and Johnson's easy going nature and unselfishness would fit in with the rest of the team (read: will not piss off Jordan). Some people will argue that LeBron should be the SF, but I will take the better spot-up shooter in Bird, given this team doesn't need another player who is more effective with the rock in his hands. Olajuwon is the greatest defensive centre in history, and an unbelievably good post player. He can cover for everyone's mistakes, cause about 5 turnovers per game, and whenever the perimeter players get tired, they can dump it into Hakeem in the post for the Dream Shake. Bill Russell is the only player who may be a little questionable here. He undoubtedly had the best career in the NBA of any of these guys, but he played in a different NBA (1956-1969). The rules were completely different, and despite only being 6'9'', Russell was one of the tallest players. Regardless, his defensive IQ, tenacity, rebounding and passing skills mean he is the perfect complement to this starting 5.
Note: All further teams are since 2002 only because that's when I started watching the NBA
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| ^^ JaVale makes every game 10-12% ^^ more entertaining!!! |
PG: Ricky Rubio
SG: Kyrie Irving
SF: Jamal Crawford
PF: Blake Griffin
C: JaVale McGee
Okay this team would get killed in real life. No post-D, no rebounding, lack of height, BUT WHO CARES. Two of the best handles in the NBA, and the passer with the most flair, along with the 2 (arguably) most athletic big men in the game. It would be broken ankle, and alley-oop city right here. No fundamentals, but all flash. Every game would be sold out, but I'm fairly confident a team like this wouldn't win more than 50 games. Still, I would love to support this squad. (Allen Iverson should be in this team, but I irrationally dislike him.)
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| ^^ Proof that hair ≠ talent ^^ |
PG: Mike Conley
SG: James Harden
SF: Manu Ginobili
PF: Zach Randolph
C: Greg Monroe
Conley is one of my favourite players, merely because he is UNREAL in 2K13. He and Patty Mills make the wettest backcourt from three ever. Harden is a given, Ginobili is more of a SG than a SF, but he can fit in there with his versatile game. Randolph is a beast down low, and would be relied upon to score in the post. Monroe would be a great Pick and Roll partner for Harden, or Conley, or Ginobili. This lineup has lots of flexibility, and the sneakiness of being entirely left-handed. Not sure if that would make it easier for the defenders to remember, given that it never changes when they switch, but I'd still watch this team play all day long.
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| ^^Okay, maybe hair = talent ^^ |
PG: Steph Curry
SG: O.J. Mayo
SF: Chandler Parsons
PF: Kawhi Leonard
C: Andre Drummond
Steph Curry is a top 15 NBA player, maybe even higher, so he definitely deserves a spot on this list. He won't last long though, as he's a lock for an all-star spot this year. O.J. Mayo is pretty underrated as a defender, and a great 3 pt. shooter. He shot over 40% this year from beyond the arc, and still dished over 4 assists per game. Chandler Parsons is my favourite player in the world. Theres no being rational with me about this, but he is the star of the team, and can hoist as many shots as he wants. Plus he has great hair. Kawhi Leonard is awesome, and I could be persuaded to class him as a top 4 SF in the NBA (LeBron, Durant, Melo). Andre Drummond had a rookie season for the ages. With a winning percentage over .600 (rookies average about .400), and great stats (about 13 Rebounds/36min and over 2.8 block/36), Drummond is set to dominate this league for the next decade. I predict at least 2 of these players will be all-stars this year, and 4 of them by the time they all retire.
Boring But Effective Starting 5
PG: Andre Miller
SG: Mike Dunleavy
SF: Bruce Bowen
PF: Tim Duncan
C: Nick Collison
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| ^^ My vote for 'Best PF Ever' ^^ |
Andre Miller is not a typical point guard. He doesn't shoot threes much, he doesn't like to run up and down the court, but what he still manages to do is be effective. He throws alley oops pretty well, but what really stands out is his post play for a PG. Given his size (6'2", 200lbs) he can dominate smaller guards down on the block, and grab a fair few rebounds as well (3.3 in only 25mpg last season). Nothing flashy, but he gets the job done. Mike Dunleavy is a similarly boring player. He's not good at any one thing (maybe 3pt shooting), but he's not bad at anything either (maybe defence). You never really notice his contributions, but he still manages to be effective day in and day out. Bruce Bowen was a dirty S.O.B., no doubt. But while it might not be exciting to see your favourite players get tripped, mauled, punched, pinched and who knows what else, it worked. The Spurs have retired Bowen's number in his honour, and he was a part of 3 title winning teams - thats effective. Tim Duncan is the poster child for the boring Spurs. Regarded as one of the greatest power forwards of all time, Timmy was never known for his throw-down dunks, or flashy post moves. Instead his fundamental D (he tries to tip blocks to his teammates for fast breaks, rather than send them into the crowd), and his patented bank-shot are what we all remember about him. Granted he wont make many episodes of SportsCenter, but who needs to when you have 4 rings (and almost a 5th last season). It's telling that his high point in terms of entertainment value (to non-Spurs fans) was when he discovered he has arms (I'm not kidding). Finally Nick Collison: screen setter and hockey-assister maestro. Collison barely gets any stats, and doesn't even start over Kendrick Perkins, but consistently his team is better with him on the floor than without. His intangibles, and hustle make him a key reserve for the Thunder, despite not being flashy at all.
Hair&Beard Starting 5
PG: Norris Cole
SG: James Harden
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| ^^ There are no words... ^^ |
PF: Drew Gooden
C: Joakim Noah
Norris Cole and Iman Shumpert were tied for the sickest 90's flattop I've ever seen, but Cole edges Shump just because he's a PG, and thats where we had space. James Harden's mohawk alone is pretty sweet, but combined with the NBA's most famous beard (seriously, it has it's own twitter feed), the SG position is a lock. Parsons has the best hair in the NBA for sure. I want to know how he does it so silky smooth, but apparently it's his secret, and he wont share. People asked him on twitter, and he just clams up and moves on to the next question. When you have a whole commercial solely about your hair, you know you are big time. Drew Gooden wins the unintentional hair award. He's had some pretty sweet (awful) beards over the years, but this hairstyle really takes the cake. It looks like he just forgot to shave it off. I'm dying at this... Either Gooden has the worst barber in the league, or the best. I'm undecided. Finally the KING of hair. A player who may be better known for that mop that he calls hair than for his basketball skills. Joakim Noah, following in his father's footsteps and possibly taking them even further, is the starting Centre on the Hair and Beard starting 5. He's known as a great defender, and its no surprise. Any unsuspecting guard dribbling into the lane gets a face-full of Noah's unruly mane, and lives to rue the day he ever tried to make a lay-up against the bulls.
Norris Cole and Iman Shumpert were tied for the sickest 90's flattop I've ever seen, but Cole edges Shump just because he's a PG, and thats where we had space. James Harden's mohawk alone is pretty sweet, but combined with the NBA's most famous beard (seriously, it has it's own twitter feed), the SG position is a lock. Parsons has the best hair in the NBA for sure. I want to know how he does it so silky smooth, but apparently it's his secret, and he wont share. People asked him on twitter, and he just clams up and moves on to the next question. When you have a whole commercial solely about your hair, you know you are big time. Drew Gooden wins the unintentional hair award. He's had some pretty sweet (awful) beards over the years, but this hairstyle really takes the cake. It looks like he just forgot to shave it off. I'm dying at this... Either Gooden has the worst barber in the league, or the best. I'm undecided. Finally the KING of hair. A player who may be better known for that mop that he calls hair than for his basketball skills. Joakim Noah, following in his father's footsteps and possibly taking them even further, is the starting Centre on the Hair and Beard starting 5. He's known as a great defender, and its no surprise. Any unsuspecting guard dribbling into the lane gets a face-full of Noah's unruly mane, and lives to rue the day he ever tried to make a lay-up against the bulls.
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| ^^ Joakim is the biblical Sampson. If he ever cut his hair, he would ^^ lose 70% of his basketball talent. |
Rhys T-J
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